So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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