Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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