I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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