I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
