Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
