I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
