My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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