I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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