Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize