Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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