Umm I'm too high to move.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
