He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
