If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
