he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
