If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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