Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
