How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
