so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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