Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
