Duck Duck Cougar?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
bring money and cleavage
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
