I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
