First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
