it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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