So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
