I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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