i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
