this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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