I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
do herpes really smell.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
