we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize