so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
