What a fucking waste of an outfit
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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