I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
