The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
