FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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