By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
