we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize