I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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