I smell stomach acid.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
