Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
