Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
