come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
