Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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