She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
