I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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