if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
