At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
