I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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