Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
