new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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