But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
