I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
