I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
