I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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