So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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