8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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