My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
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