I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you had me at cake vodka
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
