I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I love you. Go after that dick
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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